New Beginnings.

Someone once said to me ” You’re angry because you love me and i keep hurting you.” These were the realest, most honest words I’ve heard in such a long time. These words hurt so much. I couldn’t seem to understand if a person realizes that they’re hurting you, why they continue to do it. Why would a person throw away someone who would do absolutely anything for them? Someone who loves them more than words can explain. I couldn’t get my head around it. I felt so worthless over one person not wanting me the way i wanted them. I prayed to God asking for understanding and guidance. Why would God give me something so wonderful just to take it all way in the end?

I had to come to the reality Love hurts. It’s not always what you expect it to be and things don’t always work out the way you planned. I can only imagine Jesus’ cry to God for there to be another way other than the cross while knowing God’s love for Jesus; He still chose the cross for his own sons death. Jesus gives us clarity, meditation on our hearts and send us understanding. Love is the most powerful thing. The cross was love. I learned we have to find beauty in the pain.

For such a long time, i always felt as if i loved too much. I cared too much and it always left me empty handed. Love is such a vulnerable thing. It’s Sacrificial and joyful. It gives you the chance to completely open up to someone and share all your deepest secrets. I had to have my heart broken to learn you can’t ever love enough. Love is Crazy. It’s addicting. It’s Moving. It’s fascinating. Maybe, that’s why we all crave love in some kind of form. Lord break my heart to remind me of your never ending sacrificial love.

-My Faith Is My Healer- Mark 10:52.

– Raquel Rae.